fcuking results.
did damn badly.
ARGH.
fcuking BC got a fcuking B.
while the rest is.. total crap.
my mood now is shitty.
crap. blah.
thoughts are swirling round and round in my head.
i feel dizzy, like the insides of me are spinning..
i can feel em..
wtf.
one minute my spirits were soaring way up in the sky, the next, they just came crashing down just like that.
why are you doing this to me.
do you know how i feel?
are you really that dumb? that stupid?
or are you just acting ignorant.
fcuk. i feel like crying.
i feel so dumb, so stupid.
but it's hard to let go, to forget, to throw away feelings this deep.
i've tried to, months ago, but failed terribly.
the thought of not being able to talk to you, to see you again scares the crap out of me.
i'll do much better for the next semester, and the next, and the next and so on and so forth.
i promise you.
anything, for you.
just for you.
this first semester was crap, didn't focus properly..
gotta work real hard for the rest of the course year..
told greg i'll get all A's for the 2nd sem.. so i'd better acheive em, else i'll never hear the end from him. blah!~
shit, my hands feel numb.
i feel hot and cold. no, im not sick.
just really really sad, i feel like crying..
one simple gesture and im close to tears.
why?
WHY!?!
why the fcuk did you even enter my life???
sometimes i really wonder what my life will be if ive never known you existed.
but yet i dont regret knowin you at all.
one day i'll be there.
i promise you.
and there, will be our real beginning.
but as for now, i don't know.. i hate how things have turned out this way.
i wanna ask you why. but i'm afraid you'll ignore.
and if you do ignore, it says alot of things.
things i do not wanna know.
i dont know if whatever you're doing is trying to purposely hurt me and stop me from falling deeper.
but it really hurts, i feel pained, i've never felt this sad/depressed/heartbrokened.
and i hate it, i hate this feeling, i've shed enough tears over you.
and it's gotta stop, but i just can't..
FCUK